Our clinical studies have shown that parenting style may contribute to increased stress. Today’s blog will focus on these styles of parenting and how they affect our children.
A big problem is when a parent is constantly stressed or overly stressed. Believe it or not, these circumstances affect children’s behaviors and learning. Stressed out parents have the tendency to induce obedience only through discipline rather than encouraging learning through actions and exploration. Parental stress can activate the stress mechanism in the children, causing them to be stressed even after the parent has calmed down. The reality of the situation is that parental stress can potentially bring about high levels of stress in the children, even if said stress is suppressed verbally.
Our studies indicate that chronic stress that comes from parents causes chaos, anxiety and fears, and this produces a learning disability.
Behavior in children and young people under stress may be manifested in different ways including: lack of respect for authority, hostility, shyness, low self-esteem or feelings of guilt, and sometimes, disconnection to loved ones or their social environment.
As every parent wants the best for their children; connection, love, empathy and compassion for them are necessary for their development. Unfortunately, chronic stress affects our ability to see things clearly. Patience becomes limited and it is impossible to be mentally present; chronic stress keeps us overly concerned with the future and tied to past situations, disabling our ability to take care and nurture the emotional needs in the delicate lives of our children and youth.
Here are just some of the manifestations of stress in order to get an idea of our own state of emotional health:
Perfectionism: The continued desire to wait for everyone to do things as we have had mapped out in our minds. Having order is very good, the problem of perfectionists is the quickness to anger due to lack of seeing from another’s point of view. The learning process varies from person to person and since we live and associate with others that won’t do things exactly as we do it, perfectionism leads us to spiral in a rage of anger. This increases stress in children. Perfectionism can also take another turn when we don’t tolerate making mistakes or miss achieving our highest expectations.
Hyperactivity: This manifestation of stress, like any other manifestation, affects both ourselves and our relationships with our family. Under this kind of lifestyle we can activate the stress mechanism even if we are still running around all day smiling.
Constant worrier: This stress lead to much distraction and anxiety.
Apprehension: Old events and episodes are repeated constantly in our mind; we think that someone is going to break our heart or take advantage of us.
Unable to say “No”: This is a very clear, and often overlooked, manifestation of stress.
There really is not a specific book that you can answer all the questions on parenting, but something that is very true is that as you manage your stress you can manager your life, control your emotions and enjoy all you have around you. And one of the best parts is your children will have feel and see it. Remember, all of our behaviors are based on all of our emotions, which depend on the origins and history of our thoughts.
If you have need to eliminate chronic stress, we have protocols and assignments to help your body and mind regulate levels of cortisol. Additionally, the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system can become balanced.
Here are some tips and support to help you get started:
Adults needs 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Children need 9-10.
Eat healthy meals 5 times a day (3 larger portions and 2 snacks). Your last main meal should not be past 7pm.
30 minutes of physical activity 4-5 times a day.
Develop quality relationships with your family, especially your children.
Learn to manage stress.